Having shaved my head, I have a new empathy towards men who are losing their hair. I do not look good bald. But it would not be so bad if it were not for the halo of scar tisssue that sits atop my head — refusing to regrow hair. I shaved my head to even out the surface after my recent brain surgery during which the surgeon had a field day clearing the landscape so that he could work unobstructed. Apparently, the idea of neatly parting my hair and pinning it out of the way was outside of his comfort zone.
But back to the empathy. I used to wonder why men made such a fuss about losing their hair and did really stupid things like comb-overs or really expensive things like weaves. I mean, with hunks like Patrick Stewart and Bruce Willis around giving baldness a good name, why the fuss?
Well, you have to start out looking like Patrick Stewart or Bruce Willis. If you take your average forty-nine year old male and rip most of his hair off you get a poor result — there are any number of factors that contribute to a bad look. One of them is jowels. Even the slightest bit of flesh hanging off the neck looks like a set of king-sized sheets flapping in the wind when there is no hair to obscure the motion. Until I lost my hair I had no idea that my genetic propensity toward jowels was so strong. If I turn suddenly I slap myself silly.
I have even contemplated doing a a “bang” that starts at least seven inches back — kind of a back to front comb-over to disguise the ridge of scars. No hairs seem to want to grow in that space. I am visualizing Martina Hingis’s forehead — add three more inches to it and you will have a good picture of my current look.
Until recently I have been wearing a knit cap when I go out in public but I take it off in the car since it is itchy. When I am stopped at lights I can feel the neigboring drivers stares. The curiosity — is that a man or a woman? If that is a woman, what the heck happened to her? Poor soul. .. well, after a week or so of having an intensely itchy head I decided to bare all (excuse the pun) and go topless. So far only small children stare at me. Others keep their eyes marvelously unfocussed (or perhaps I should say over-focussed). I was ordering my latte at Panera and the young man at the counter kept a laser-sharp focus on my eyebrows — even as I handed him my money. I could have given him monopoly money and he would have put it in the cash drawer, so focused was he on not noticing my head.
Actually, I am kind of getting to like having no hair. It makes quick work of the shower and really cuts down on shampoo. Maybe I will keep the new look and start a trend. On the other hand, if it did not catch on for Demi Moore, maybe I should try a different look.
