The medical discharge papers I received after my recent hospital stay for deep brain stimulation surgery included the admonishment “No excessive bending!” Now, I am not quite sure I know how to interpret that statement. When does bending for the normal course of living move over to “excessive”? For example, is bending over to put kitty food in Nero Kitty’s dish ok? What if I were responsible for feeding feral cats? Is bending over 16 kitty dishes excessive? Perhaps it would be better to just leave the bag of cat food open on the floor?
Regrettably, the second day after my release I was bending to put laundry in the clothes washing machine when I lost my balance and fell over, hitting my head. Clearly, that was an example of excessive bending. Linshaolin can not do laundry. This event so traumatized my husband that he now watches me like a hawk. If I so much as dip from the waist he yells at me — “NO bending!” I remind him that the words were “No excessive bending” but he just glares at me. So, in his presence I must go about life bending my knees and daintily dipping — I look like a Bavarian maiden at the beer-hall hop.
Until you are forbidden to bend you have no idea how much bending we do each day (most of which I consider to be not excessive): try putting on socks without bending. Even brushing one’s teeth, which on first glance looks pretty bend-free, gets you at the end when you have to spit out the toothpaste. How many of us move this into the “excessive” zone by also bending to slurp water from the faucet?
Even going to the Meditation Center has its bending hazards — even though the Lama has given me a pass allowing me to skip the full body on the floor prostrations I am still required to bow in respect. Surely I will not injure my health by being respectful. But what if I were a Japanese Buddhist and had to bow all the time? Would the writers of the Western-biased medical discharge instructions think that their social-norm bowing is excessive bending?
My husband bought me one of those reach and grab devices so I could get things I dropped on the floor. But I have to tell you that it does a very poor job picking up hair clippings — I had my daughter shave the rest of my head last night (to even out with the already surgically shaven front part) and the extension grabber was only useful for pushing the hair clipping out of sight under the vanity to await the time when excessive bending is allowed once again.
Just think how strong your thigh muscles will get if you continue to squat instead of bend