Passwords

Before I can begin work each day I have to remember and enter passwords for powering up my computer, logging into Windows, logging into Lotus Notes, and accessing the company intranet. The passwords require strong encryption — that means each has to be at least eight characters and have at least one numeric character but it can not be the first or last. We have to change all our passwords every 90 days and we can not repeat ones we have used earlier.

In my personal life I have different passwords to access my money, my investments, my prescription mail order drug plan, my health benefit plan, my email, my blog, my accounts at all the online shops, my message boards and my various Yahoo groups. The demands on my brain far exceed its capacity. Memory aids such as using themes for my passwords long ago stopped being effective when I ran out of sports and dog breeds. I don’t want to write down my passwords in case of home invasion and identity theft. So I have created a chart.

A thief would need to find a Rosetta stone in order to break my code. It is an elaborate and multi-tiered affair with intentional misdirection designed into its clever format. Does a 2 really mean a 2 or does it stand for LL Bean (referencing the two Ls). Or perhaps it is code for QVC where I shop toomuch. The chart has two columns — one for the destination (also coded — no one will know that Jungle refers to Amazon.com) and the password (for which only a single letter or number is listed).  Anyone coming across this chart would have no idea what it was for. It looks rather like a variant on Bingo.

Sometimes my chart fails me. I forget what once I swore was so clear to me that I would never forget. I hate the sites that block you after only three attempts at entering a password. I am surprised the police have not shown up at my house before ready to arrest me for hacking. But perhaps they can’t remember the combination to the locker that has the handcuffs.

Recently I was assigned a password with instructions to change it immediately. What if I don’t. The sender will assume that I have changed it so won’t retrace his steps if he should ever decide to break into my blog account. If the assigned password were not so devilishly difficult to remember I would keep it just to try out the theory. And I might have to wait a long time before the blog staff turns larcenous.

My work sends me automatic notifications about when I need to change my passwords. But they start sending me reminders weeks in advance. “Your password will expire in 57 days. Do you want to change it now? Click here.” It is bad enough that I have to invent new passwords every 90 days. Why would I want to accelerate that timetable?